


[Translation] Where’s the Pokémon?

by penscritch



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Vocaloid, 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Crack, Humor, Multi, Translation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 19:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17269673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penscritch/pseuds/penscritch
Summary: Loosely paraphrased from the original writer's author's note:This is a crack fic crossing over Pokemon + 达拉崩吧 (a Vocaloid song) + Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them





	[Translation] Where’s the Pokémon?

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to have this ready for everyone to read by New Year's, but instead real life and a minor translation difficulty popped up. LOL
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this translation! Please give love and support for the writer of this fic on Lofter! <3
> 
> Here’s the source URL: <http://mingzhengsanren.lofter.com/post/1f04c943_12cc8e138>

Lan Xichen had a dream.

He knew he was dreaming because he was standing in the middle of a verdant field in the countryside that looked like something from a film at first glance, and he was still wearing his pajamas.

There was a small yellow animal that jumped into his arms. Even though Lan Xichen hadn’t ever watched that animation bursting with cuteness, he still knew that this little thing was called Pikachu.

The Pikachu in his arms was soft and glared at him with a pair of round, purple eyes. Lan Xichen felt it was very cute and couldn’t resist squeezing the little face that still had baby fat.

Pikachu said very unhappily: “Pika pika.”

Lan Xichen said: “A-Cheng, speak human.”

Pikachu said: “……”

Pikachu said: “You have a mission right now, which is to save the Princess.”

When he heard who the Princess was, Lan Xichen declined the mission in his inner heart.

Lan Xichen: “Why do I have to save the Princess?”

Pika Cheng: “Because this is your dream. You can only become the world’s best Pokémon trainer after completing the mission of saving the Princess.”

Warrior Lan Xichen thought, why do I have to become the best Pokémon trainer?

He looked at the pajamas he wore and immediately expressed his concern: “If I’m defenseless like this, how am I supposed to save the Princess?”

He heard a “ _biu_ ” sound when the pajamas on his body turned into armor.

Lan Xichen: “Very well……I also need a sword.”

Pika Cheng: “You don’t need a sword, it’s enough if you have me.”

Lan Xichen: “Okay……then do I still need a Pokéball?”

Pika Cheng: “According to the script, I refuse to stay in a Pokéball.”

 

 

So Warrior Lan Xichen rode on the public transportation bus for route 11, bringing along the fiercest Pikachu and setting forth from the unknown wilderness.

He saw a throng of walking corpses, followed by Wei Wuxian wearing a T-shirt with a dog’s head on it poking his head out from behind the corpses.

Lan Xichen said: “Wuxian, are all these corpses gathered here by you?”

Wei Wuxian said: “No, Big Brother, these are all from within your dream……”

The two people had barely spoken two sentences when from Lan Xichen’s embrace, Pika Cheng suddenly emitted electricity, electrocuting all the walking corpses into nothingness.

“……” Wei Wuxian calmly finished the last half of his unfinished sentence, “Big Brother, did you watch too many ghost movies and anime recently?”

 

 

Warrior Lan Xichen defeated the walking corpses that had come attacking and gained twelve gold coins. They continued to bear hardships like the wind and frost and moonlight as they advanced.

The two people met a good-looking young man with golden hair and watched wide-eyed as he stuffed a big cat that looked like a tiger into his suitcase.

Pika Cheng said: “This also belongs to your dream?”

Lan Xichen: “Perhaps it’s because I’ve seen this during these two days I went with you to the movies.”

The blonde young man discovered Pika Cheng. He rubbed Pika Cheng’s ears and smiled at Lan Xichen. Though he smiled gently and warmly, Lan Xichen still couldn’t help but hug Pika Cheng and shrink back.

Pika Cheng had his ears touched by someone other than him and he hadn’t electrocuted them. Lan Xichen’s heart felt uncomfortable.

The blonde young man smiled: “Don’t worry, I’m just a little curious. I won’t put him into my suitcase.”

After Lan Xichen had walked a mile away while holding Pika Cheng, the Pika Cheng who had a long counter-attack poked his chest and asked: “Lan Xichen, did you just eat vinegar?” [1]

Warrior Lan Xichen expressed that he just wanted to find the Princess as soon as possible.

_[1] Translator’s note: ‘Eating vinegar’ means being jealous._

 

 

Warrior Lan Xichen went through difficulties as thick as brambles and thorns before finally passing through a cave and finding the Princess and the huge, terrifying dragon.

Princess Nie Mingjue and the evil dragon Jin Guangyao were currently fighting on the bed.

Warrior Lan Xichen was very pure and asked: “Big Brother, Third Brother, what are you doing?”

His words had barely fallen upon their ears before Pika Cheng, who had mentally commanded him to let him down, suddenly released 10,000 volts.

 

 

Warrior Lan Xichen brought along Princess Nie Mingjue and the evil dragon Jin Guangyao, who had both been stunned by the electricity, back to report to the king.

Even though Lan Xichen was already fully prepared in his heart for how chaotically messy his dream was and the degree to which it was chaotically messy, he still couldn’t control himself when he saw the king.

“Respected Elder Brother, stop laughing.” King Lan Wangji’s face was expressionless, but Warrior Lan Xichen could still tell that it was as though the words ‘life has no meaning’ were scrawled across his empty face. “This is the script.”

Lan Xichen said uprightly: “Okay.”

Lan Wangji said: “Warrior, your mission has been completed very well, I will marry the Princess to you.”

Just at this moment, Princess Nie Mingjue woke up and immediately expressed his opinion: “I refuse.”

Warrior Lan Xichen happily said: “I also refuse.”

Lan Wangji said: “……”

Lan Xichen: “Reporting to the King, I already have Pikachu.”

The Pika Cheng in his embrace turned around to look at him. Lan Xichen rubbed his soft ears and kissed his forehead.

Really cute, Lan Xichen thought. Only, I still want to do some other things and A-Cheng’s current state isn’t very convenient. I should wake up quickly.

 

 

Lan Xichen finally woke up.

Jiang Cheng’s hands were positioned on either side of his head with his entire body hovering above his. His alarmed face was directed at him: “Lan Xichen, what’s the matter with you? How come you’re sleep-talking?”

Lan Xichen rubbed his eyes. This dream made him so tired that he couldn’t tell left from right: “It’s nothing, I just had a dream.”

“Oh.” Jiang Cheng relaxed, “How come I haven’t seen you have a dream this lively in the past?”

He was too embarrassed to say that earlier, Lan Xichen rubbed his ears and kissed his forehead and kept saying ‘I like you very much, I like you very much,’ directly bringing him from deep sleep to deep insomnia.

This time he was able to confirm that Lan Xichen wasn’t sick, so he let out a sigh of relief and wanted to lie back down. However, his waist was encircled by the man beneath him and his hands on either side were disrupted and couldn’t hold him up anymore, so he fell into Lan Xichen’s embrace.

Lan Xichen held him and flipped them over, using the blankets to cover them both again and whispered softly: “It’s still more comfortable hugging like this……”

Jiang Cheng: “……”

He reached out and hugged Lan Xichen in return, his head buried in his chest, his entire body warm and comfortable, but his heart still had some worries:

Is this person really not sick?


End file.
